7 Methods To Deal With Jealousy as an Actor






Welcome! I see you’ve chosen probably the most self-worth-challenging-inevitably-comparative-I-am-my-work occupation on the planet. And what’s that? Generally you get jealous??? How DARE you! You’ll by no means make it!

That was my impression of your internal monologue. How did I do? Sure, thanks, I’m excellent at impressions. Now let’s get that voice to tone it down a bit.

Jealous Acting

Desk of Contents

  1. A Fast Notice on Managing Expectations
  2. Take Care of Your self, You Deserve it
  3. Strategy the Monster with Mindfulness
  4. Stand on the Shoulders of Giants
  5. Ditch the Outcomes, Love the Course of
  6. Articulate!
  7. Jealousy is a Treasure Map
  8. Break Glass in Case of Emergency
  9. Conclusion

What’s the Downside?

The Oxford dictionary defines “jealousy” as—I’m kidding, I’m not a monster. For me, jealousy is seeing another person’s success and feeling both inadequacy (“they’re higher than me”, “I suck” and many others.), or resentment (“they don’t deserve that, I ought to have that, I’m being handled unfairly”). Usually each on the similar time! Ah, the wonders of the human situation.

As actors, it’s no shock that we’re significantly weak to jealousy. Social media, movie, TV, commercials [SR, a choir of actors sing: “I could have done that”] always barrage us with examples of our peer’s successes.

Level is, it may well really feel like in every single place we glance, we’re being reminded of the myriad methods we simply don’t measure up. And that’s silly. So listed below are 7 strategies I take advantage of to remind myself that it’s silly, that we’re all superior, and that jealousy is like LSD: a little bit may be fairly helpful, however an excessive amount of, and also you’re having a panic assault. No? Simply me?

A Fast Notice on Managing Expectations

Earlier than we get began, I wish to contact on what you possibly can anticipate from this text. The aim right here just isn’t “to by no means get jealous once more.” Jealousy is a standard, pure and even wholesome a part of being human. What I’d actually like your focus to be, is to develop the muscle that permits you to transfer by way of these uncomfortable emotions with grace, and never get caught in them. Keep in mind: it’s a muscle. Give your self a while! You received’t learn any article as soon as and be “healed”. It’s a relentless course of.

Keep in mind these shoddy trolleys at Coles while you had been a child? Those that may hold going to the appropriate for some cause? Properly that’s your thoughts. It has this awful path it is aware of, and it’s your job to maintain gently guiding it again to centre. The wonderful factor is: you possibly can truly re-wire your mind, and alter your default patterns! Which is loopy, as a result of I’ve by no means seen anybody repair these god forsaken trolleys. Which implies it’d truly be simpler to heal your unfavourable considering patterns than to repair a Coles procuring cart. And if that’s not inspiring, I simply don’t know what’s.

Sufficient Foreplay, Gimme the Good Stuff

No extra edging, right here’s the record. There’s no order right here, take and choose what works for you! Nevertheless, I’ll encourage you to start out on ‘Take Care of Your self, You Deserve It’. I can completely assure it can make you a mentally stronger, more healthy human being. So let that one run within the background like an overeager additional in a Marvel movie, after which strive a few of these different approaches on the similar time.

1. Take Care of Your self, You Deserve it

Take Care of Yourself

Sleep, eating regimen and train. It might appear over-simplistic and mildly irritating, nevertheless it works. I do know while you’re feeling low, it may well seem to be there’s one thing deeply flawed, however let’s simply maintain up earlier than we take a pick-axe to our trauma-mines. Generally you actually are simply drained, or hungry, or want to maneuver round a bit. And it doesn’t matter what, a little bit of self care will, on the very least, provide you with additional power to face the green-eyed monster.

Issues to Attempt:

– Sleep 7.5+ hours for a number of nights in a row, and see how you’re feeling.
– Go for a ten minute stroll/run along with your favorite tunes.
– On the finish of your bathe, flip the faucet to chilly and see how lengthy you possibly can deal with it. Oh boy, what a rush.
– Eat one thing that makes you’re feeling good after you’re executed consuming. You realize what I’m speaking about.

What have you ever bought to lose? Do these out of spite to show me flawed. Think about how good it could really feel to be proper after which destroy me on the web. That could possibly be you! [reverse psychology intensifies]

I say a number of nights, as a result of your physique would possibly really feel extra drained after the primary couple. It’s simply catching up on some sleep debt, and is a [good sign you need to persist] 

2. Strategy the Monster with Mindfulness

You would possibly hate this, however: let your self really feel the jealousy. You may’t all the time suppose your manner out of an issue. Usually, resisting unfavourable feelings can lengthen and intensify them. Consider it like Satan’s Snare in Harry Potter: the extra you resist it, the extra it constricts you.

So, in the event you’re up for it, give your self permission to run an experiment:

1. Set a timer in your cellphone for five minutes.
2. Sit, chill out, shut your eyes, and breathe. Don’t fear about deepening the breath, simply let it seem because it comes.
3. Let your consideration transfer towards the jealousy. Give it 100% of your focus.
4. Discover that, like all emotion, it’s only a sample of power. Develop into actively focused on any bodily sensations that come up. The place do you’re feeling it? Within the intestine, behind the chest? Does the feeling change over time? Let your self give up to it utterly.
5. As soon as the timer is up, come again to the room and open your eyes.

How do you’re feeling? It’s OK if nothing has modified, simply discover that too. After operating this experiment many occasions, I’ve discovered that no emotion, optimistic or unfavourable, can survive very lengthy below the sunshine of our consciousness. That one of the simplest ways previous it, is thru it.

3. Stand on the Shoulders of Giants

Right here’s a fast one which helps me lots. Watch some inspiring stuff! Brené Brown will probably be just like the mom you have already got, however truly hearken to. Watch two minutes of her, or anybody that evokes you, and see how you’re feeling.

For these resisting the woo-woo self-help cult: I get it! I don’t need Tony Robbins to soak up my life power both. However simply drop the defence mechanisms for Daddy and provides it a go.

4. Ditch the Outcomes, Love the Course of

This one’s lengthy, so right here’s the TL;DR: specializing in outcomes results in jealousy and comparability. Focusing in your course of results in fixed enchancment and self-satisfaction.

Final result-Based mostly Considering

I bear in mind seeing an Indie theatre present on a Sydney stage which shall stay anonymous, and considering: “God, if I may simply get on stage right here, I’d know I used to be ok. I’d have proof that I’ve some expertise.” 6 months later I bought on that stage. I felt good for about 0.3 seconds, forgot about it, and began worrying about whether or not or not I may do it. Then I noticed a play on one other Sydney stage which shall ALSO stay anonymous, and I assumed “oh no it’s this one, if I get on stage right here, then I’d know I used to be ‘ok’.” You see the place that is going – I used to be by no means glad.

It’s a cycle I’ve fallen into not simply in my profession, however in my life. “What’s the subsequent factor??” That is outcome-based considering. As quickly as you obtain one thing, you get an attractive little dopamine hit, and then you definately search for the subsequent one. It may be efficient briefly bursts, however my god does it make you vulnerable to jealousy. All you’re ever enthusiastic about is getting the subsequent audition, the subsequent position – why them? Why not me? You’re a crack-addict with a hoop gentle, capturing exterior validation into your veins. Spoiler alert: It’ll by no means be sufficient.

Let’s have a look at a unique strategy. One which requires no exterior validation. One that you’ve got extra management over. And, paradoxically (perhaps, I nonetheless don’t know if I perceive irony), one which will provide you with more practical ends in the long run. Enter process-based considering.

Course of-Based mostly Considering

The method refers to your every day habits, and is inside your management. Whether or not or not you’re employed in your appearing right now is inside your management: You may do a 5 minute vocal warmup, learn a script, improvise with a pal – blah blah, you already know. With the method, there is just one aim: construct a system and enhance it incrementally. Begin small. Wish to begin meditating? Meditate for one minute a day for per week. No aim is simply too small! Do it constantly sufficient that it turns into a behavior. It’s now a part of your system! Crank it as much as 2 minutes, then 5 minutes, after which 4 hours. Congratulations, you are actually a monk.

I promise you, that in the event you begin small, work on the issues you recognize are essential, and sloooooowly enhance the load, you’ll change into wonderful. Since you’re shifting in the appropriate route and getting higher day-after-day! And, right here’s the kicker: these elusive outcomes will begin coming your manner, as a cheerful by-product of your new focus!

All you ever have is the doing of the factor. The current second. The targets, the plateaus, they’ll hold shifting. However the course of? That’s why you began appearing within the first place! As a result of it’s enjoyable to fake with your pals. And irrespective of how profitable you get, that’s all it’ll ever be. These moments the place you’re having enjoyable pretending.

Nice Article: Neglect About Setting Objectives. Give attention to This As a substitute

Finest Ebook: Atomic Habits

5. Articulate!

Community of Friends

In case you can speak to a pal, or accomplice, and really feel secure to take action, I like to recommend speaking your jealousy. I knoooow, it may well really feel actually gross to confess your insecurities. It takes loads of braveness. However in my expertise, I typically really feel about 50% higher the second I cease holding within the jealousy. Not solely that, however I discover that these conversations often deliver me nearer to whoever I’m sharing my emotions with!

However “maintain up a minute Mr. Web Article Man”, I hear you say. “What if the one I’m jealous of is my accomplice, or pal?” Properly performed, stranger. God is aware of actors like to date one another. It’s a neighborhood extra incestuous than a Medieval royal household. Alas, my suggestion is similar: Even in the event you’re near somebody you’re jealous of, I like to recommend telling them straight. This one takes extra-hot-peri-peri-marinade braveness, however can deliver a few profound sense of aid. I’ve executed this a number of occasions, with companions and associates, and right here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I’m nearly all the time evaluating myself to an phantasm. For instance, I’ll see somebody as stuffed with confidence. As soon as I inform them I’ve been feeling jealous, they reveal all the identical neuroses I assumed had been distinctive to me.
2. The opposite individual typically finally ends up revealing that they’re jealous of me, for qualities or abilities that I’ve been taking without any consideration! Which is all the time a gorgeous reminder that we are inclined to see solely what we predict we lack, after we get caught as compared.

So give it a crack! As a result of what’s the choice? A slowly rising, and festering resentment. And resentment is the worst feeling. As a result of then you definately’ll begin to hate your self for getting resentful. Which is able to make you’re feeling extra insufficient. Which is able to make you extra resentful. This may proceed till the earth explodes.

For extra psychological well being suggestions take a look at Dr Mark Seton’s recommendation.

6. Jealousy is a Treasure Map

One other lightning spherical. We are able to truly observe gratitude for our jealousy, and use it as a treasure map to our most desired qualities and highest-held values. It’s because we solely get jealous after we recognise our realised potential in others.Which implies you have already got these qualities you’re jealous of, in any other case you wouldn’t get triggered!

So rejoice in your jealousy! It’s exhibiting you what you care about, and guiding you towards the individual you really wish to be.

7. Break Glass in Case of Emergency


That is one I take advantage of after I’m feeling significantly low. I’m undecided why, nevertheless it may give me a bit of additional power after I want it.

Generally I actually don’t like myself – it occurs. It’s OK. Folks will let you know you might want to like your self on a regular basis – screw these individuals. They’re lower than you might be and don’t have any self value (see? We’re already making jokes about it). All of us fall into unfavourable patterns once in a while, so right here’s a reminder while you’re feeling significantly yucky: The world deserves your greatest.

This little reminder helps me take the eye off myself. Consider it like this: Whenever you’re at your greatest, the world is a greater place. You join. You brighten different individuals’s lives. So even in the event you’re not vibing your self, the world nonetheless needs one of the best of you.

On the finish of the day, appearing is an artwork of service. We go on stage to give a efficiency. It’s not about us! It’s about telling tales, it’s about reminding individuals how linked all of us are – in grief, in pleasure, humour, sorrow, love and ache. And truthfully I feel the world may use a few of that, now greater than ever.

Wow, what a rant. Right here’s the purpose: After we get caught hating on ourselves and jealous of others, we change into fairly withdrawn. So this can be a little slap in face to remind you to not dwell there, as a result of the world needs you to succeed.


And that’s it! I sincerely hope a few of these concepts and strategies can assist you while you’re feeling caught. Jealousy is a demon that may drain us of power, make us query our ardour, and switch us in opposition to one another. And we don’t want that smack proper now, as a result of we’re all on this collectively. I need each single one among you to succeed, and change into one of the best you possibly can probably be. So get on the market, and present the world what’s burning inside you! And in the event you want a little bit additional enhance, this web page will all the time be right here. I bought you bby.

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