Actually, I’m shocked it’s taken me this lengthy to get a 12 foot skeleton as a result of shit like that is type of made for me. – The Bloggess






If you’re halloween-obsessed like I’m you in all probability already know that House Depot makes this 12 foot tall skeleton that at all times sells out instantly so once I noticed that they opened up preorders a couple of months in the past I instantly ordered one after which promptly forgot about it once more till a 100 pound field was lugged to my door by two males who appeared very impressed with my order or very impressed with the truth that they weren’t married to me.

Victor was just a little overwhelmed however I figured I might do a lot of the meeting myself through the use of the skeleton music (“The arm bone’s related to the…hand bone!”) however this was extra sophisticated so as an alternative I ended up singing “The leg bone’s related to the…different leg bone. However first you join it to the…metallic thingie. Wait, no, I feel I used the incorrect…metallic thingie. Why are there so many…metallic thingies? Why do the arm bones appear like…leg bones?” After which Victor was like, “Cease singing or I’ll kill you”” which felt aggressive, however in his protection the music was surprisingly unhelpful and likewise this was a jigsaw puzzle he by no means wished to be concerned with:

He was a bit grumpy however tried to remain in good spirits. For instance, he discovered this humerus.

(I feel this really may be a femur however that’s not as humorous. Sorry.)

Right here is the place I’d put a time-lapse video of us placing the skeleton up on the porch however I needed to maintain turning off the digicam to search for constructing tutorials as a result of we misplaced the instructions, however in the event you had been right here you’ll have seen the skeleton bent over it’s field whereas I pushed its pelvis with mine to lock the ribs in place, which appeared very very like I used to be taking pictures a doggy-style skeleton p0rn as two totally different units of neighbors drove by. They didn’t wave. I advised Victor that if I used to be taking pictures a skeleton p0rn I’d name it “BONED” and he simply kind of stared at me, which is honest as a result of that’s fairly lazy writing now that I give it some thought.

Nonetheless, we persevered.

I made a decision to call her Bone Crawford however now I’m leaning towards Scary Connick Junior so please assist me make my thoughts up.

Her energy supply is in her pelvis (a barely extra poetic p0rn title) so I needed to climb up and shove a bunch of C batteries in her butthole after which to show him on it’s a must to push him within the butthole and OMG THIS SKELETON EROTICA WRITES ITSELF.

In the long run (additionally a sound title) it was completely value it…

…though, once I talked about how laborious it was going to be to take it aside and carry it as much as the attic later Victor mentioned, “I’d relatively simply burn the home down” which is useful as a result of it falls consistent with my plan to maintain them up for so long as it takes the House Proprietor’s Affiliation to complain. Bone Crawford can carry supply a cornucopia at Thanksgiving, Scary Connick Junior can put on a Santa Hat and brandish a menorah in winter. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.

Shut-up of the butt-action:

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